Parenting is not a sacrifice to your children

 

What happens when you take parenting as a sacrifice? 

The sole role of a parent is to take care of their children. However, some parents think that they are sacrificing or doing their children a favor by taking care of them. So what happens when a parent feels that they're doing their children a favor?? 

1. The parent is always bitter. Children do not always do the right thing. They are imperfect just like us. There is no child who does no wrong from January to December. So if you feel like you're doing your children a favor, you'll always be bitter when they do wrong. They fail in exams... you're bitter since you feel school fees is a sacrifice. 

2. You're more likely to parentify them. Children might take up the role of the parents when the parent fails to do all the roles they are supposed to play. The child will end up being a parent to themselves or their siblings since the parent fails to fulfill some obligations. 

3. The children are more likely to grow up to become people pleasers. When children grow up trying to please their parents who always tell them they're sacrificing alot for them, they believe that they have to please people to be loved. They might therefore neglect themselves as adults and take care of other people's needs. 

4. The child will be more likely to neglect their goals to give back "black tax" to their parents. Parents are supposed to support their children until they stand on their own and excel in their careers. Parents should also strive to leave some inheritance to their children ( A wise man leaves inheritance to their children). However, parents who keep on telling the children they sacrificed for them expect the child to give back to the parent at the expense of their career growth. The parent will expect the grown child to keep sending money as an obligation whether the child has or not. Just because the parent says they sacrificed a good life so that they can take their children to school. (Children giving their parents should be out of heart but not out of obligation). We have seen people who have neglected themselves to educate their siblings and take care of their parents because apparently the parent did them a favor taking them to school. 

5. The child will grow up to be an unhealthy parent too. Dysfunctionality is passed from one generation to the next. So if you tell your children you're doing them a favor by raising them , they're more likely to do the same as parents unless they heal the childhood wounds you caused them. 

Children never ask to be born. We just decide to enjoy coitus and forget its the baby making process. So, before you enjoy some three minutes of heavy breathing, think about your capability of raising a child that might come. 

Embrace parenting with joy the same way you enjoyed coitus. 

You ain't doing your children any favor by raising them. 

#joyinsights 

#intentional parenting