Gendered parenting

 

Some weeks ago, we were planning a surprise baby shower for a friend of mine. One major issue that came up was the theme colors of the day. We had to ask each other if we were sure of the gender she was expecting so that we decide on the theme color. Why was theme color an issue? because we have been accustomed to Blue color for Boys and pink for girls. So without being sure, we had to think of gender neutral color blends. We finally came up with Red and White. 

What am I trying to say? As a society, we have been accustomed to use children's sex as a guide for socialization decisions without considering individual behavior and characteristics. This is called GENDERED PARENTING. Here, Gender is used by the parent to show their children how girls and boys should behave or not behave. 

Gendered parenting is started as early as a child is born. Parents paint Boys room blue and girls room pink. New moms consider gender while buying infant necessities where they buy pink items for girls and blue for boys. 

As children grow, we introduce them to gender stereotyped toys. We buy dolls and pretend cooking toys for girls while we buy  cars, and balls for boys. As children play, we tell Girls not to engage in more exploring play like climbing places but tell them to pretend play cooking or changing diapers. Boys are left to explore cars, tractors climbing, driving and the like. When we were growing up, my community girls who played with boys in activities considered for boys would be called "Wanja Kihîî" (That's a derogatory term meaning a girl behaving like a boy). 

What does all this socialization tell a child, there are things that should be done by boys and others girls. However, some of the activities we socialize children using gender stereotypes are important life skills. There's no harm when both boys and girls learn how to cook. (I guess CBC is introducing them to all life skills). 

Other than how we teach children, they also observe how their parents divide work and housework. Girls observe their mothers while boys observe what their fathers are doing. If the parents lifestyle is dictated by Gender stereotypes, children learn the same stereotypes. 

However, what gendered parenting overlooks is individual capabilities of children. They limit children based on their sex. 

Anyway, how are you conforming to gender stereotypes as a parent? 

Do you consider gender while buying toys for your kids? 

We're you bullied as a child for engaging in activities that were considered of a different gender than yours? 

Has your child ever surprised you by asking for a toy that you consider to be of a different gender?? 

#joyinsights