Child neglect while still providing.

 Neglected yet provided for. 

Most of the times we tend to think that all we should do as parents is to provide for our children. Parents focus on the basic néeds like food, clothing, shelter, education and healthcare. However, this is not what all a child needs from their parents. You can provide all these basic needs but still neglect your children. 

How can you be a provider yet neglect your children?? By abandoning their emotional needs. Children needs are not only physical and financial but also emotional. Children deserve their parents to meet their emotional needs by showing affection, caring, listening, praising them, validating their pain and spending time together. 

However, parents have neglected the emotional needs of children as they try to provide for other basic needs. Some parents rarely spend time together with their children. They are never there to listen to them or show affection. All they do is provide and conclude that they are the best parents. How can you connect emotionally with your child when you're never available??

Take for example, you're a parent. You wake up very early to go to work and leave your kids sleeping. In the evening, you come home so late while they are already asleep. During the weekends you're busy with church or work team building activities. Tell me, when do you spend time with those children in your house?? The house manager helps them do their homework, complete their projects. She is the one who listens to them about how school was. Don't you see you're delegating the most important part of parenthood??

Studies show that emotional neglect  has far reaching negative effects than child abuse. This means that emotional neglect is a form of childhood abuse only that it is not physical. Reason being, you're abandoning their emotional needs which determine their mental health outcomes. 

Most adults are struggling today since they were emotionally neglected as children. They were only provided for. That is why you'll find most individuals having a hard time forming healthy social relationships. Others have a hard time managing their anger as no one taught them to manage frustrations. 

I am not saying you neglect providing basic needs your children so that you can spend all your time with children. You need to balance. As long as you're intentional and you want the best outcomes for your children in future , you will find a way to make time for your children. Be there for them to share their frustrations and achievements. Let them know you're there for them. 

Do not be a provider yet an emotionally neglectful parent! You'll be worse than an abusive parent. Be intentional and balance your time.

© Joyce Mwai

Writer/ Teenager Mentor/ Trainer