If you expose your Child to Adverse Childhood Experiences, You're Messing up their Adulthood

 

When I used to teach (years ago),  there's this poem I loved to teach with during poetry lessons. "Crack the Glass" by El-Miskery. 

Students could easily figure out the message of the poem. The poem talks about how the human heart is as delicate as glass, once it is broken, the crack will always remain. 

The poet goes ahead to say that although the heart can be fixed ( a person forgiving you or getting past the hurt) , it is too hard to make a person you broke their heart forget the hurt. If the wound is touched, the person will start bleeding again. This means that the person you hurt will only need a slight trigger to get back to being hurt. 

I however want to deviate and use this poem to describe our children's emotional and mental development. (In literature we say there is no right or wrong analysis of a work of art. One just needs to illustrate their interpretation with evidence from the text )

Just as the way glass is delicate, the same way our children are delicate. What we put in their heart is what remains for the rest of their development up to adulthood. 

This means that we have to protect the delicate nature of our children by not wounding them. 

We can protect our children from developing permanent wounds by protecting them from abuse . Are you beating, yelling, comparing, neglecting provision of basic needs , neglecting to offer emotional availability to your child?? You're wounding your child. The wound will remain. 

Are you letting your child observe you engaging in domestic violence. Do your children have to rescue you as a mother Everytime your husband is beating you? You're wounding the child. And the wound will remain. 

Are you allowing your child to be the parent. Neglecting your duty and making your child handle all your emotions? You're wounding your child. And the wound will always remain. 

Exposing children to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) is wounding thém. Wounds that they will have to take to adulthood. 

Once they're adults, they will just need to bé triggered, and Their wound will start bleeding. Even on people who never wounded them. 

You see a man angry with his wife, because he was wounded in childhood, he is triggered and beats the hell out of the wife. 

A mother gets angry with her children. because she was wounded in childhood by the parents, she yells and beats the hell out of her children. She is triggered so she starts bleeding on her children. 

Most of the adults we have today are wounded. They just need a trigger to start bleeding. Why?? Because of a messed up childhood. 

As the poem says , although the heart can be fixed, triggers will always overpower a person. 

An adult has to put in alot of work to mend the wounds inflicted in childhood. It is alot of intentional inner work. To heal all the childhood traumas. 

To prevent our children from having to heal wounds in future, how about we don't inflict wounds on them now. Because they will definitely take the wounds to adulthood. 

Children are delicate, as the human heart, as the Glass. If you wound them, you're messing up their adult hood. 

Parents , how about we don't crack the Glass? 

How about we don't crack the delicate and innocent nature of our children?

© Joyce Mwai

Writer/ Parenting Coach/ Teenagers Mentor