Our little secret.
There are instances you hear parents tell their children. "Shut your big mouth!" . Apparently the child might have talked about some embarrassing things about their parents or home. Parents fight and the child goes to school or the neighborhood and tells all about it. When the parents find out, they tell the child "Do not talk about our issues out there" Those are our family secrets and should not get out!
Some parents will do something with the children and warn them against telling the other parent. Like "Do not tell your mother we did this" "Do not tell your father we did this or this happened"
How sick is that! If you want your child not to embarrass you out there, do not do things you would not want people to know as kids watch. This will save you the struggle of teaching children how to keep secrets. As much as you might think it is not serious, You are bringing up a child who will keep secrets even from you the parents!
Imagine a girl who has been taught to keep secrets by the parents gets sexually abused by a relative or any person close to them. Child sex abusers always tell them not to tell anyone about what they do. The girl will be told "Do not tell your mom we did this. It's our little secret." "If you do, I will beat you or I will not be bringing you presents" Do you think that child will ever tell?? The child has already been taught by the parents that keeping secrets is okay.
Children need to know that keeping secrets from their parents or guardians is wrong. Let them tell you everything that happened to them during their Normal day away from you. Do not ask them to lie or keep a secret. If there's something you want to be kept a secret, keep it away from the kids but do not burden them with keeping secrets!
#intentionalparenting
#joyinsights
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