As children transition from childhood to adulthood, they have to go through the adolescent stage. It is at this stage that we see physical changes in them. Did you know as they develop physically they also develop sexually at this stage? Sexual hormones naturally start to be produced which control their sexual arousal and desires.
Boys start producing testosterone while girls have estrogen that control sexual arousal and desires. It is here that the teens start developing sexual feelings towards peers of the opposite sex. They start getting aroused.
You see the way you're aroused as an adult and desire sex with a person, for teenagers, it is worse as they are in puberty. These children can get super aroused and might not know how to handle that stage. It is here that talking about sex by the parent with their teenager becomes necessary.
It might feel weird and uncomfortable to talk about sex with your 12 or 13 year old, But you have to do it. So, how can you talk about sex with your teenager as a parent?
1. Take every chance possible to talk about sex. For instance, if you see a TV commercial about sex, take that opportunity and talk about it.
2. Let the teen lead the conversation. Ask them what they already know about sex. They might have heard alot which some might be misconceptions. Take this Chance to clear any misinformation and offer them the truth.
3. Get comfortable with the topic. Assure them that there is no need to get embarrassed when talking about sex. Assure them that you Will always be there to answer their questions.
4. Be honest when you do not know an answer to a question about sex. You can tell them you can look up for answers together. (However, it is important you gather all your facts First)
5. Make the topic to be about values. You're giving them information so as they can uphold the right values around sex like self control, abstinence, respect.... If you don't give them the right values. They will get information from other sources like internet pornography.
6. Do not give lectures. Explain every questions they have. Let it be interactive.
7. Introduce sex as a healthy and beautiful part of human beings. If you paint sex as an evil thing or bad to them, they will definitely experiment as they will get curious. Introduce sex as a beautiful act that should be enjoyed but not by children. After all, they're products of sex.
So parents to teenagers. Have you started the sex talk? How are you doing it? What challenges are you facing??
©Joyce Mwai
Writer/ Parenting Coach/ Teenagers Mentor
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